WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

Or get married and wish you were dead.



At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'

'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'



A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

'Husband Wanted'.

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

'You can have mine.'





When a woman steals your husband,

There is no better revenge than to let her keep him.





A woman is incomplete until she is married.

Then she is finished.





A young son asked,

'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa

A man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'



Then there was a woman who said,

'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

And by then, it was too late.'



Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.





If you want your spouse to listen and

Pay strict attention to every word you say,

Talk in your sleep.



Just think, if it weren't for marriage,

Men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.





First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'

Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'





'A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him,

And for Patience for his moods.

Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death'



And now the all time favourite:-



A little boy asked his father,

'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'

Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

Old timers joke

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.


Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense. 'Your Honor,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'

______________________________________________

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa .

'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding cake.'

______________________________________________

This old man in his eighties gets up and puts on his coat.

His wife says, 'Where are you going?'

He said, 'I'm going to the doctor.'

And she said, 'Are you sick?'

'No' he said, 'I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.'

So his wife gets out of her rocker and puts on her coat.

He said,' Where are you going?'.

She said, 'I'm going to the doctor, too.'

He said, 'Why?'

She said, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing of yours, I'm going to get myself an anti-tetanus shot.'
_____________________________________________

More talent....evolution of dance

Funny, have a good laugh..

Great talent...man made marvels..

Health mistakes!‏

Regular Health Mistakes

All of us make little health mistakes that cause damage to our bodies in the long run - simply because we are unaware we are doing something wrong. Here are some of the most common mistakes made by many of us.

Crossing our legs
Do you cross your legs at your knees when sitting? Although we may believe that this is the lady-like elegant way to sit, sitting this way cuts down circulation to your legs. If you don"t want varicose veins to mar the beauty of your legs and compromise your health, uncross your legs every time you realise you have one knee on top of the other. The best way to sit is to simply place both legs together on the floor, balancing your weight equally. If you feel like changing position, instead of crossing your legs, simply move both legs together to one side. As an alternative, you could also consider crossing your legs loosely at the ankles. This is a classically elegant way to sit, and is far better for your legs and your health than sitting with your legs crossed at your knees.

Not changing our toothbrush
How often do you change your toothbrush? Most of us wait until most of the bristles have either fallen off, or are in such bad shape that we"d be embarrassed to pull out our brush in public. However, since not many of us need to pull out our brush in public, we carry on with our frayed one until we lose it. Replace your toothbrush often. Damaged bristles can harm the enamel, and don"t massage your gums well. If you find brushing your teeth a pain like I do, but know you must do it, you might as well be doing it right. Imagine going through the annoyance of brushing your teeth twice a day only to find out that you"re damaging your enamel every time you clean your teeth. Also, use a brush with soft bristles unless your dentist has advised otherwise.

Eating out often
There are oils that are high in cholesterol, and oils that cause little harm and are better for your heart. However, no matter how light
the oil is, it is never a good idea to eat too much of it. Avoid fried foods.Remember that in all probability your favorite Indian food
restaurant throws a huge, HUGE chunk of butter in a tiny bowl of dal. Rita, who worked in the kitchen of a 5 star hotel, was shocked when she saw the cook chop a 500gm butter slab in half, and throw half into a Paneer Makhani dish. No wonder the customers left licking their fingers. And no wonder they felt so stuffed and heavy afterwards. Limit outdoor eating unless you know that you"re getting served light and healthy food.

Skipping breakfast
Never, ever skip breakfast. Remember, when you wake up in the morning it"s been around 10-12 hours since your last meal. Your body needs food now, more than at any other time. Eat a heavy breakfast. You will then be busy through the day, and the calories will get expended quickly. If you are trying to diet, eat a light dinner. Here are some more common health mistakes we make. Being informed and making a few changes can help make us feel a whole lot better.

High heels
High heels sure look great, but they're murder for your back. This however doesn't mean you should steer clear of stilettos. Wear them, but not when you know you will be walking around a lot. Wear them when going out for lunch or dinner - when the only walking you will be doing is to your car, to the table, and back. Avoid high heels when you are going somewhere on foot. If you are constantly tempted to wear your heels, take a good look at your flats. Is there something about them you dislike? Invest in a new pair of beautiful flats or shoes with a low heel. Buy something you love, that you will enjoy wearing. If possible, get a matching bag. You will then enjoy your flats as much as you do your heels.

Sleeping on a soft bed
You don't have to sleep on the floor be kind to your back, but do make sure you have a firm mattress. Although a mattress on springs is soft and lovely to sink into, it's bad for your back. If you already have an old bed with springs, you don't need to invest in a new one - simply get a thick wooden plank put over the springs, and place the mattress on the plank. Similarly, if your mattress is old and lumpy, throw it out and get a new one. Your neck and your back will thank you. The same rule applies to sofas. If you will be spending hours on a sofa, get a firm yet comfortable one. Sofas you completely sink into are not the best idea.

Pillows
No matter how comfortable sleeping with ten cushions is, have pity on your neck and resist. Sleep with one pillow, and make sure it is not too thick. If your pillow gets lumpy, discard it and go for a new one. Get a thin pillow if you sleep on your stomach, and something a little thicker if you sleep on your back, to give your neck adequate support.

Not exercising
So all of us know we should exercise more, but many of us don't. This is a health mistake we consciously make! And why is that? Simply because we refuse to admit the damage we are causing to our bodies by not working out. A number of people only start working out once they've experienced a warning signal. Don't wait for a heart attack to strike before you decide to opt for a lifestyle change. Make the change now. You don't need to train for the marathon to be in top shape. Half an hour of brisk walking three to four times a week will make a world of difference to your health. You could then increase this to forty minutes, four times a week - and you're all set. If you haven't exercised for a week, you're making a mistake.


Today's Message of the Day is:

Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

Same colour but different family..really cute..

Are you in the wrong job??..Here are 6 signs..

1. It's not just that they don't pay you enough, it's that they couldn't ever pay you enough to make you feel good.

People who feel underpaid always think that more money will make them feel better. Sometimes it will, but sometimes it won't. If your biggest complaint about your job is the salary, consider whether an amount 10 percent higher would make you happy. Then think of a number that is 20 percent higher. If a 10 to 20 percent increase would make you feel well compensated, you're in the right job—you just need to work on getting a raise. If you could go as high as 50 to 100 percent more and still not be satisfied, then money isn't the problem and more of it won't make you feel better. It's time to find another position within the company or a new job altogether.

2. You believe that nothing you do makes the least bit of difference. .

This a demoralizing position to be in, but it's usually not the work itself that makes you feel as if you're not making a contribution. One of the world's most admired companies specializes in cleaning services, and its employees, who scrub office floors and bathrooms, believe they have reason to be proud of themselves and the work they do.

You need to discover a sense of purpose. Your job is making copies? Find out who needs them and why. Or maybe you need to shift your focus to what makes you happy outside of work—traveling, playing tennis, volunteering. Then you can think of your job as the means to make those activities possible. If you still think that everything you do is meaningless, then you need to prepare for a job change—because once you believe you're wasting your time, it won't be too long before your employer believes it, too.

3. You're not learning anything.

Of all the things that can go wrong with a job, the feeling as if you're not growing is one of the most dangerous. The market for your talents is changing every day, and unless you are evolving, too, you run the risk of becoming as obsolete as punch cards in a software world. Be vigilant if you feel you are not learning anything and your current employer is paying you more than anyone else would. That means it is definitely time to run, not walk, toward opportunities for building new skills. (A boss looking to cut workers will always target the ones who cost him more than their talents warrant.)

You might register for technology courses or simply ask your current employer for new responsibilities. Concentrate on shoring up an area you feel is your biggest weakness or building on your second-greatest strength (you've probably automatically refined your strongest suit because it's something you love to do).

4. No one ever talks to you about the future in a positive way.

Many of us feel we don't get enough positive feedback. In today's fast-paced environment, managers are often so overwhelmed that they fail to notice when someone could use a little praise. But there is a difference between not getting enough compliments and not having any indication that your boss or senior managers imagine you playing an important role in the company's future (something like "You know, you would be good for job X, one step up"). If no one further up the food chain says anything to you about the future, it could be a sign that the plan is to keep you in your slot—if you're lucky, and they don't need to make cuts.

Finding out that you're not on the fast track—or any track at all—can be painful, so don't press for more information than you can handle. When you're ready to deal with the worst-case scenario, ask for some time with your boss and say, "Here are two or three jobs I would like to grow into. What should I do to be ready for the next step?" If the boss says, "I think you're terrific, but the company needs to do better before we can offer you, or anyone, any opportunities," that's good news.

5. You hate your boss so much that it's hard to think about anything else.

The number one reason people give me for wanting to change jobs is that they hate their boss. But let's face it, if you have a boss, any boss, you have days when you aren't thrilled with her. The occasional incident doesn't turn a good job into a wrong job. But when every day is Boss-Hating Day, that's another story.

Nancy, for example, was working in a café with people she liked. This group had such great style that they turned what could have been just another lunch spot into the place in town. Yet their boss continually changed his mind, insulted his staff, and micromanaged and second-guessed everything they did. One day, Nancy realized that her work menu never altered: It was always more servings of boss hatred. The only way to change the situation was to change jobs.

6. You feel that who you are at work doesn't have much to do with who you are in the rest of your life.

Little mismatches can always crop up between our individual preferences and what our job requires: Maybe it's the daily irritation of pulling on pantyhose or being forced to defend a dumb company policy. But you might discover a profound discrepancy between yourself and your company. Maybe your casual style doesn't fly in your buttoned-down workplace. Or, more seriously, you may find your ethics don't match.

A young woman who was bothered by the bookkeeping practices of the family-owned business she worked for. It's not that these procedures were illegal, but she prided herself on adhering to the highest standards of ethics and these loose policies made her acutely uneasy. If you're consistently uncomfortable at your workplace—as the result of a major personality conflict or a clash of ethics—you should get ready to move on.

Why you need a BMW‏

Young innocent..and.. old ignorant..

A chuckle to brighten your day..

Latest Budget Airlines - KERALA AIRWAYS‏

Relax….. enjoy your journey….!!!!

It's the time for meal…!!!

Air hostess….Ammini Rajappan always at your service…

Kodak Moments!‏