Dating Dangers: Love's a Minefield

Your parents did it. Guys and gals, rocket scientists, even nuns probably do it, at least once. The topic is dating, and the custom is as old as Adam and Eve.

Dating is the path to love—and that path, as we know, can be a minefield.

We date and we date, but we don't find Mr. or Ms. Right. In fact, we may find someone a lot scarier.

Watch out for these dangers.

Blinded by Chemistry
Face it, finding a great mate takes some research. You're going to go through a lot of people, until you find someone where there is some kinetic thing, some magnetism, some desire to know more.

You're looking for a connection, someone you're physically attracted to—who's physically attracted to you—plus someone who doesn't make you feel bored from the get-go,

Chemistry, mutual interests—that's all great. But don't let the love bug mesmerize you.

There's woman who fell "totally in love" with a man she met online. Six months later, they met. Eventually, he encouraged her to sell her house, pack everything and prepare herself for a new life. Then comes the e-mail saying, "I can't go through with this. I'm sorry, I'm dishonest, I'm married."

You have to be very careful.The dating advice: "You can't change the spots on a leopard."

Dying of Boredom
A date isn't a therapy session. Don't ramble about lost loves or your personal problems too much.At the beginning, your dates don't need to know about your insecurities, your dead-en

Getting Cynical
Sure, dating can be frustrating, even disillusioning. But don't let it get you down. If you're feeling negative, you'll scare off the good ones. Get out, meet people, and be open to new people and new experiences. You'll meet someone. After all, dating is a process of elimination—you just haven't met the right one yet.

Some people are much more rigid or sure about what they want. They don't want to make the same stupid mistakes. But feeling jaded, that's a self-invented problem. There are many good people out there. If you have a 50-item list of criteria, if you're too specific about what you want, too rigid, you're going to find yourself alone forever.

The dating advice: Look beyond the bald head and other imperfections. "Have an open, optimistic mind. You've got to have enthusiasm, imagination. There's matured woman who thought she wanted an intellectual. But she met a layman and is having a great time! When people say they're cynical, jaded, they're really scared of having to change a little bit.

Keep a good attitude about your past. When people get divorced, they forget the good stuff about that relationship, and it undermines their confidence. It's all about attitude. You have to feel proud of yourself, feel good about yourself, happy to meet people. If you think they all have to be the love of your life, you're going to be unhappy.