July Phobia ??

JULY...It is the month of dreary JULY .... half a year already gone. July is the month that I had somehow develop a certain kind of anxiety regarding things or events happening in this particular month.
I called it the JULY PHOBIA.
What Is A Phobia? According to the American Psychiatric Association, a phobia is an irrational and excessive fear of an object or situation. In most cases, the phobia involves a sense of endangerment or a fear of harm. For example, those suffering from agoraphobia fear being trapped in an escapable place or situation.
Phobic symptoms can occur through exposure to the fear object or situation, or sometimes simply thinking about the feared object can lead to a response.

Looking back the ages, I do not know whether it is plain co-incidences or some psychological blockage in me that instill this kind of dreary anxiety. I feel daily happenings of situation or events somehow gets tougher and do not turn out to be my liking especially so..particularly in the month of JULY.

ONE of the such instances was the birth of first son. He was born the first day in the month of JULY...A very joyful and happy occasion being the first time mother. On top of that, he is also the first grandson to my in-laws.
While I do not have much to complain during the terms of my pregnancy through out.. Considered to be smooth and without much complication of what the doctor told me after the baby is born. 'EASY' birth. He says...Oh my god..this unbearable pain and agony of whole 3-4 hours of labour pain is called the EASY BIRTH?? "YES" EASY..Just look at your husband. (He was by my side holding my hands witnessing the birth of his own creation). He is feeling more tired, stressed out and experience more pain compared to you. The doctor said. Pain?? yeah..I realized that I was holding his hands too tight that the pressure of the wedding ring that he was wearing caused significant marks on his poor finger.
However, the most difficult task was not birth..but the post natal blues ..and really they were not so EASY after all.. It was the whole confinement month that was unbearable...

While it was customary to be confined to a whole lists of DO and DON'T during the month when the baby was born. The food was one repeatable round of plenty of hot ginger with liquor in whatever you eat..Be it breakfast, lunch or dinner!! No drinking plain water..but drink to some brewed water with concoction red dates and some Chinese herbs.

On top of that, there was limited water for bath!! Why, because I had to bathe with some brewed black herbal water and boiling hot water that had been cooled down.
Not supposed to add in any direct water from the tap. There and then not supposed to wash your hair during this confinement month too! Just imagine in our hot tropical climate, with lots of sweats after eating all those hot ginger stuffs and drinking those liquor too.. and not able to wash your hair??Thank god to some smart invention of so called 'dry' shampoo which was in the powder form..Or I would not be able to survive this dreary month in respect NO hair wash alone!

I was trying to breastfeed my son with as much nutrient with my breast milk as possible. Being a new mother, this is just not an easy task..The pain arising from those soreness and effects of afterbirth all over my abdomen and breast are 'nothing'...compared to labour pain and the pain during childbirth.
Just barely 1 week, my son was crying more than often. My mother-in-law often said he could be crying because he had not had enough of milk. (We were staying together at that time) "Bottle feeding is fast and easy to tell how much he had drank" Each time he cries, there goes..."the bottle feeding......"
However, One incident which to me is the most ridiculous, sorrowful, and most difficult to endure..There was a slight yellowish discharge in one of his tiny little eyes. The discharge became sticky thus disabling him to open up one of his eyes.. And I am accused to be the culprit!! Oh my goodness, how could it be??

My mother-in-law told me to bring out this certain pregnant dress which I had used to wear. Told me to dismantle the 'shoulder pad' of the blouse and soak it in rice water!!?? I was puzzled?? How on earth, by so doing could enable my son's tiny little eyes to be better?? Then, I remembered, during my terms of pregnancy, this particular shoulder padded dress came out..and I had use thread and needle to stitch it back. And according to the Chinese beliefs, its a taboo to do any such 'mending' which consequently resulted this....unopened tiny little eye??

I was also prevented to accompany my son to the doctor to examine his eyes..due to my birth confinement..Imagine, my sorrows, anger, and dilemma..I could only pour all this out to my own mother...My own mother also a Chinese, is much elder than my mother-in-law, she is not so superstitious like her. Each time, she gave me very good advices.. how to stay harmoniously without confrontations or quarrellings. I could remember her telling me that whatever my mother-in-law is doing..although sometimes seems absurd, she wanted all of us to be GOOD..(I had always bear this my mind to enable me to stay on.......)

In the end..the doctor diagnose that there was a slight eye infection. A few application of eye cream, and both bright tiny little eyes looking up at you again...Thank goodness.

This was only ONE Strong instance leading to my so called JULY phobia!!